“I am eternally, devastatingly romantic, and I thought people would see it because ‘romantic’ doesn’t mean ‘sugary.’ It’s dark and tormented — the furor of passion, the despair of an idealism that you can’t attain.”—Catherine Breillat (via rebelwithoutamixtape)
“Don’t be afraid to be confused. Try to remain permanently confused. Anything is possible. Stay open, forever, so open it hurts, and then open up some more, until the day you die, world without end, amen.”—George Saunders (via observando)
1. Let’s be honest for once. I will love you fierce; I will love you terrible. I will carve out your heart, and you will be grateful for the end.
2. You accuse me of faithlessness, but I do believe in the light bursting from our skin, the divinity breaking our bones to pieces.
3. I was not born difficult; my father can attest to that, screaming it until he coughs up blood that his daughter was born without a spine.
4. History repeats itself, we know this much. History sings the same songs, fucks the same girls, drinks the same whiskey night after night in the saddest passion play the world has ever seen.
5. Maybe one day I won’t say your name like a penance, like I thought there was absolution in your veins instead of blood, instead of something so devastatingly human. I’m hunting for angels here, something divine and holy, something that will scrub me clean.
6. My mother says I need to prepare for the real world and maybe she’s right. I hope she’s right. I hope the ice in my chest is imagined, that one day I’ll wake up and this will all have been a dream.
7. We can only go forward; we can only let go. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
8. I am trying not to rot in this grave you dug me.
“I don’t want to stand before you
like a thing, shrewd, secretive.
I want my own will, and I want
simply to be with my will,
as it goes toward action.
And in the silent, sometimes hardly moving times,
when something is coming near,
I want to be with those who know
secret things or else alone.
I want to unfold.
I don’t want to be folded anywhere,
because where I am folded,
there I am a lie.”—Rainer Maria Rilke (via observando)